Three Ways to Avoid Toxic People | The Self Esteem Builder

We have all encountered toxic people at some point in our lives. It could be when you were in high school, or someone in your family, or a friend. Knowing how to deal with them is important.

1 – toxically infused – this is when an individual has been brought up in an environment where they have had little concern for others. They are normally loud and they yell, often not being aware that this is what they are doing. Having this type of tainted relationship is the norm for them. They do not see themselves as being this way of being ignorant, inappropriate or imposing on others.

How to handle them: they have not been taught proper etiquette. They are very blunt and to the point. Give them metaphors and analogies as a reference.

2 – toxically complicit – they know right from wrong, but they still engage in behaviours such as bullying and putting others down. They thrive and feel that they need to be like this in order to survive.

How to handle them: redirect them by challenging them about mistreating others. This is done to know that you are aware and you do not like it what they are doing to others.

3 – toxically insurgent – their motto in life is it is better to be feared than to be loved. They are loud and obnoxious. No one wants to be around them. They bring everyone around them down and all you want to do is avoid them.

How to handle them: If you respond to them it only adds more fire to their flame. Keeping them away from others is important, if possible.

By following these three steps should help in minimizing a toxic persons behaviour. Of course there is always just staying away, but sometimes, you do not have a choice.

Do You Love Yourself? | The Self Esteem Builder

Do you constantly judge others? Your friend just told you they bought the cutest purebred dog. Your first thought was last week they could not afford groceries! Now they have a dog they cannot afford. Smart one!! This will end poorly. 

Or your partner left their clothes on the floor again. Your thought is how lazy they are! And gah the nerve as you bend over to pick up their mess.  

You have thoughts that criticize other constantly through out the day. It is time to take a closer look at you to see what is really going on. Often we are found judging others. This means that deep within ourselves we are truly not happy on the inside.  

When this happens we attract people into our lives that will treat us how we feel about ourselves. I remember once Oprah saying, “We teach others how to treat us.” Those words have stayed with me. It is true. If we fear abandonment, that is what we will bring more of into our lives. For example we will be with someone who in the past has abandoned someone else. This is unknowing to us, as we would not intentionally go out and seek someone who would do this to us. Instead we think about how our partner does not spend time with us and how they are always out spending more money on other things.  

When you think these things your mind will start being overactive and bring you to a situations that are fictional, then you will start believing it. If this is the case then this is a sign that you really do not love yourself. You are truly not at peace with yourself, or the world around you. This will lead to others not being perfect as that is the way you feel about yourself.  

Once you love yourself that is when you will be able to fully love another. Normally it takes a crisis, or a break though to be able to fully be at peace with yourself and have the desire to love yourself whole-heartedly.